Undead End on Main Street
by ml3lack
Summary: A woman struggles with the horror of the new apocalyptic state of the new world, whilst taking care of two children ... and a third on the way.
1. Chapter 1

Undead End on Main Street

It had been the persistent sound of scratching that had awoken Lou that morning. "Aurora! You just go and let Mercedes in! She damn scratching again"  
The scratching persisted.  
'Damn my hand is sore,' thought Lou. A cry came from the hall.  
"Yo mama! Taint no Mercedes out here! You bin itchin' again? Why ain't you been using that cram I got you last ecks mas! Mama"  
Lou extricated her hand from her crotch.  
"Damn Aurora, ya'll right 'bout the itchin'! But where's that good for nothin' sister o' yours Mercedes gitten!" Lou hollered.  
"Don't you go hollerin' at me mama! Yao not the only one with an itchy crotch!" Aurora hollered back.

Ten minutes later the dyke-namic duo mosied their way updown the main street of their trailer park, banging on each door they passed and yelling:  
"Mercedes! Mercedes Coke! Mercedes Cherry Coke! Mercedes Cherry-Vanilla Coke! You git your ace out here"  
"Aurora Wal-Mart Teebo Pepsi! Where's that Black Irish boyfriend of hers at? What's his name again ... ? Cadbury Chocolate? I knew I didn't want her goin' out with a neeger ... He ain't installed ma Teebo right. Oh I know! He damn near connected his trailer to our Teebo, let's just follow dis here wire and then get him on parole violation!"

Lou and her Aurora spied the elusive Teebo cable which crept along the Mains like a tangle of ivy. "Now don't you go steppin' on any of those cracks on the pavement, Aurora Borealis!" Lou cheeked, "y'all don't wanna go breakin' your father's back! He's the grocery manager at good ol' eff jays"  
Aurora retorted, "Damn mama, I tain't never met ma father, I thought I was immaculately conceived"  
"Bless the Lord Jesus, you wanna go breakin' his back? And by the way, when you say tain't never that consitutes a double negative thus implying that you HAVE met your father! Damn Aurora don't you go lyin' to me! I gi' you a slap!"

Suddenly Lou's good hand flew through the air and smacked her bleached blonde daughter across her cherry-cheeked face. A trailer door slammed open metres away to reveal a young black girl with withered braids. She cried: "Mama! Mama, no! Mama please no! Don't hit Aurora, my sister! She as white as snow and don't want no black bruises ruinin' her fair countenance! Like the moon she is, the goddess Diana! O' course the two of us make a pair, I gotta be Charles the dark side of the moon. You don't remember Mulan, mama? We never returned returned that film, mama! That's why Chase from the video store came and slapped us round a month ago and I bin missin' my period since! How am I supposed to have ma mother Wicca ceremonies without the shot o' menstural blood"  
By this time Aurora lay face down in the dirt, her hair caked with mud and her Mexican implants all askew. A tough looking african-american man appeared behind Mercedes.

Lou cried: "Damn, Cadbury! Yao lookin' a bit pale today! And I ent bein' makin' any o' those racial sluurrss, ya hear me?! I only FOSTER black, ma step brother ya see. HOLLER"  
"Yes, indeed Louise. You see, last night on my way home from the office ... I received what can only be called a bite from an intoxicated caucasian male ... oh, it rather stings." Cadbury replied. All of a sudden he fell over, and blood could be seen gushing from his neck. Then Mercedeseseses white skirt was turned red ... all of a sudden ... "Damn Mercedes I thort you said the painters weren't comin'. I had enough o' your lies! You little bitch!" Lou made to strike Mercedes, yet Mercedes ducked and began to run.  
"Mama! Mama! It musta been from last night! When Cadbury gave me a little nibble down there! Oh I feelin', quee-zee Mama"  
With that she fell over ... and yada-yada-yada she became a zombie!

Yada-yada-yada she tried to bite Lou and Aurora was bitten by Cadbury and okay so Aurora and Lou are hunkering down in the trailer to escape.  
"Damn, Mama. I don't like hunkerin' in this trailer. You never cleaned up ma piddle from last week," complained Aurora.  
"Don't you go criticising me after your father never toilet trained you"  
"Fuck up cunt"  
"I love you mama"  
"Damn ma crotch is itchy," cried Lou. Then she went to the shops and got a shaver but she accidentally cut herself while trying to give herself a Brazillian. I love them.

The end.


	2. Chapter 2

Scott woke at 8 AM, Greenwich Mean Time to a wet bed and an angry buzzing. His flashing red alarm clock was going sounding along with its inbuilt supersonic frequency which caused Scott to piss himself. 'Oh, fark!' the tubby teen thought. 'My clock is set to the wrong time zone ... Green ... witch! Whoa ... a witch? Late ... late work ... me'  
After squeezing himself into his extra large work shirt, doing up the strained buttons and clambering into his muffin-top-inducing pants, the dumb cunt hurried to the kitchen to replenish his diminishing fat stores ... the fuckin camel. He ignored his mother who was incidentally eating her husband's face and Scott only registered her hisses and snarls ten minutes later by which time he was out the front door and on his way to work ... or some shit.

"Yeah ... sorry, mum? I - uh - sleep. In and missed! SCHOOL! Now I ha-ha-ve to ... ahahaha!! go to work! ... uh I apostrophe m ... two hours, unearly ... ummm better stAY as long? as I CAN! and yeah ... do work?!" he informed the brass door knocker.  
'Wow ... she must be ... angry?' he said out loud, being unable to think silently.  
As the average person walks, the supermarket was approximately 500 metres via the library and park. Therefore Scott walked along the looped street he lived on for 2 kilometres until he found himself staring at a modest complex of buildings one could only describe as a supermarket plus a specialty of auxhillary shops.  
"Yeah, I work here ... " he informed an elderly woman who passed him.  
"The FUCK are you, koora?!" she shrieked.  
"Dat's not very nice ... " he replied after a pause of four minutes, by which time the woman had hobbled her wrinkly ass to her car, yelled at pedestrians, hit a three year old and driven away.  
'Wooow ... fark! ... a witch? She like ... van - went ... gone thin air! Green witch?!" the fat fuck fought.

"Scott! What the fuck?" His boss cried, with tears streaking down his face. "You're three hours late. Awww maaaannn! If ma boss finds out about this ... oh god no!" The walnut man was suddenly bitten by some slut and ... oh lo and behold he zombie man! And then some dumb tosspot teenager who thinks he's tough ... like he got bitten to ... on his tight ass and fuck there's another fuckin one.  
Scott ambled his way over to the drinks fridge ... and then his conscience kicked in .  
"Scoottt ... SCOTT! The carrots ... put the carrots ... in the freezer ... NOW"  
"Who. is. this.?" Scott asked. "Scott ... scott SCOTT! AH HELP SCOTT HELP ME!" his conscience had taken the form of Uglik Hunt, the ugly cunt checkout chick who was in the office doing a voiceover announcement. Blood splashed the tinted windows of the orfice ... I mean office ... but due to the tinting and Scott's delayed reactions, it took 20 minutes for him to realise something may be wrong ... that's right, he'd been stacking the freezer for the past twenty minutes without any actual product in his hand. Then a real Australian entered the shop and spoke:  
"You huckin koora dun huckin talk ta me bout huckin Mandurah! Huckin Mandurah! All huckin huck you up koora huckin steal our land! Stole it! Dis huckin freezer, huckin mine! So dese cigarette butts in the bottom ... see them? Am huckin take them and staple em ... make some smoke in a bottle! Gat any huckin lemon essence? It huckin 85 perrrrr cent alcohol"  
This sunblest creature was then bitten by Scott's boss ... and he underwent no change. His skin remained the same ... caramel hue ... and his carnal desire for human flesh, persisted.  
Basically Scott went and got a meatlover's pizza, a 1.25L bottle of creaming soda and got stoned on the oval.

The End. 


	3. Chapter 3

Brenda Bradley brewed a broth that morning as she watched horror unfold on the news. She had black boobies which meant that while the kids were at school she would maintain a daily ritual of cleaning and watching trash television. She quickly put her eyepatch in place and went to the kitchen to break her fast. Suddenly her half-Irish mudblooded best friend Suzannegrae appeared at the door.  
"Brrrrrenda! O Brrenda! Queek leet mee een! There are peeeeople, oh they livin la vie da loca! They chased meee heeere oh and they ate my huzz baynd! Huzz baynd! He wass such a good huzz baynd! And I brrrought Mateeelda our otherrr frrriend too!" she chirped.

"Matilda, quick, tell me what happened!" Brenda asked her actual best friend.  
"Haa yeah Braannd eaa! Well you see, there are people going crazy and eating other peop-" she noticed the food Brenda was preparing, "Oh that brekkie looks divine! What is it"  
"It's philly on toast," Brenda replied, caking the emulsion of milkfat and crap generously over her slice of toast.  
"I'm trying to be good"  
"Hello 60 percent less fat"  
"OH MY GOD, SUZANNEGRAE!"

The two friends watched as their foreign friend they always made fun of collapsed to the floor convulsing and clutching her vaj. Her flimsy surgical whites she wore due to being a knacker flew up all over her upper body to reveal her very naked sub torso area. There was blood all over the region and deep teeth marks.  
"Yes, you see Philadelphia has 60 percent less fat than most jams and marj," Brenda continued. Suddenly she rounded on Suzannegrae. "Suzannegrae! If you cannot shut up and listen I am going to kick you out of the mother's spermpool! I have had it with your rampant lesbianism and your flaming heterosexuality! I don't want you around my son anymore! DID YOU TOUCH HIM?! MATILDA! YOU HOG YOU JUST ATE MY PHILLY ON TOAST!"

Tiba-tiba, Suzannegrae leapt to her feet and moved across the kitchen floor, sliding along her bloody mess. Her normally soulless, foreign eyes had now turned cream cheese white and she gnashed her bloody teeth at her two friends. Meanwhile the other two sluts ran and Brenda ran upstairs to retrieve her handgun. Suzanne clumsily chased them but was slowed down by her clumsy half-irish flat feet.  
"Wait a second Matilda! I just remembered something Suzannegrae's son once said!" Brenda spluttered.  
"What? What is it?" said Matilda in her husky voice. "What did Kyle, her sun, say?!"

"I think you mean "son", with an "o" ... But anyway he told me once that Suzanne's family were the original owners of Blarney castle! In Ireland! He said that through the generations, the family had lost ties to it but last year some guy like called up and offered Suzannegrae owner ship of the castle! But she declined ... saying they were happy where they were"  
"Wow ... she must be like reaaalllyy Irish, I'll bet"  
"Well, with a name like Suzannegrae Hernandez ... derrr"  
"But wait, I thought she was only half irish"  
"Let's ask her," Brenda concluded as suzannegrae stumbled into the room, hissing and spitting and generally just bleeding some shade of bulldyke over Brenda's faux fur pastel rug which incidentally her brother-in-law rooted her on last night and she now had a terrible rash on her back.

"Suzannegrae! Are you actually Irish, or just half-Irish?!" Brenda screamed with the gun raised shaking into the bloody creature's face.  
"Ahhh, Brenda! Help me! Suzannegrae! She is eating me! Ohhhhhh my chicken wing shoulder blade implants! Help me Brenda!" Matilda suddenly said within the space of many vital seconds.  
Brenda raised the gun and fired. The bullet struck true to Matilda's milk-fat deprived skull.  
"That's for eating my philly on toast!" she screamed. Whilst Suzannegrae feasted on Matilda, Brenda decided she needed some more Philly on toast. Thus she returned to the kitchen.  
'Oh, NO!' she thought as she surveyed the scene. 'ALL MY PHILLY IS GONE!' Suddenly she spied a hunk of the white cream cheese splattered into the pool of blood. 'Oh, wow! Sweet chully phully!' And she licked it all up. All of a sudden zombie Brenda (cause she licked up all that blood) looked in the mirror and lamented on her pale complexion. So she bought some Thin Lizzy from the TV and appeared in this infommercial:

Uh rully rully dudn't thunk thut Thun Luzzy wud wurk! But nuw I reulised thut Thun Luzzy is guud fur ivryone!  
After that she vommited up all the blood and became normal again. Then she decided to hide in her room from the ever increasing epidemic.  
'Work is from 1 to 1.15' she thought, 'well ... trashy mags ... YES'  
Being a desperated whorewive she satisfied herself with a wooden dildo and got some sleep.  
The End 


	4. Chapter 4

Everyone inside the supermarket began to register the al gore before them so they just stood there watching and if they had MSN they'd be like: OMG :O! "Sounds like the half-irish have got their pride on," stated Rhianna. Everything about this morning served to appease the manager, Olliver's sense of drama. Taking charge, he spoke: "Stop! Stop it. It's not the half Irish." he crossed the aisle and reassuringly placed his hand on Scott's shoulder, as if to steady the boy. "We've gotta get the pole hooks." Finally, he strode past four bays of spic tacos to where a confused couple stood. "We're going to have to steal this store!"

Within the whole minute of his monlogue, twelve more of the bloody fiends had raced into the store. A few employees had taken the initiative to thrust trolleys into their path. Rhianna pulled out her wand and cried "Expecto Patronum!" and her patronus, a dildo, lovingly stroked the zombies' faces. Unfortunately, due to the recalcitrant nature of their retarded wheels, the trolleys all spiralled out of control and knocked Jonathan Lipnicki and the fat kid from Two and a Half Men out into the foyer where they were feasted upon by the invaders.

Scott pulled out his mobile phone and quickly began to dial for the police. "Hello! Domino'th Leeming! Thith ith Thcott thpeaking!" "Whoa ... Thcott? Rhymes with my name ... Scott ... " Jordan mumbled.  
"Yeah! Thcott! That'th my name too!" Thcott exclaimed.  
"Umm umm can you help us police! Their are ummm people covered in barbeque chicken and they are trying to kill us"  
"Oh, no! ZOMG!" Thcott cried. "Well you thound like a cutie but I jutht don't know what to do! Can you hold"  
Scott listened as Every Breath You Take played in the background.  
'Scott! Who are you speaking to?!" exclaimed Olliver.  
"Uhhh, The Police! he replied.  
'Wow ... surprisingly quick thinking for such a slow cunt.' Olliver thought.

Meanwhile, Rhianna used a fat black kid as a step and manipulated the pole to slam down the roller doors. Olliver pulled out a licorice whip and stung the mule's ass into urgency and they quickly reached the final door. Yet suddenly Rhianna was confronted with an overbearing feeling of desperation and sexual frustration. With this she thrust the hooked pole up her vag and gyrated herself into a numbing bliss. When the pole finally emerged, her vaginal acids had dissolved the metal end and the doom of the situation weighed upon all the survivors like The Ranch weighed upon the aboriginal burial ground underneath the foundations. 'God, this place stinks,' Nightfill guy thought incidentally.

The monsters outside were seen to tire of the filthy child-actor meat and they also ignored the whining half-irish bate who stood crying and wanking next to them. Instead they began to sprint towards the open appeture in the defense. There was a frantic scramble as everyone inside made to fling trolleys at the opening.  
"Quick!" Oliver cried. He then spun around multiple times clutching his head. "We need ... " he scouted left and right like a lost sailor, "a ... a ... " falling to his knees her made a silent plea to the asbestos insulation above, "a hook!" he concluded. "Then use me!"

Everyone turned to the clicking voice of the hideous Indian girl, Dusk. Without warning she clambered over the trolleys and propelled herself to the top of the door. She lodged a severely hooked nose into the correct hole on the barrier and as she descended the door clattered to a close; raging bodies could be heard smashing against the other side. Victory seemed assured until Dusk let out a shriek of shock.  
"Oh crap! Did someone hold a mirror up to her?" cried Olliver.  
"No. Ah! Help!" Dusk begged, "The train of my sari is cuaght under the door. I think they are pulling it!"

Already her leg had been claimed and the creatures dealt Dusk her doom. Everyone inside watched, horrified, as her contorted face managed to contort to a new magnitude of horror. All who looked found themselves retching into flimsy plastic bags. Unfortunately for Scott, his had a gaping hole in it and his feet were served with a footful of vommit. Instantly, a slurping sound filled the vicinity: a coon was sucking up the mess with a straw. "Oh, huck! This like huckin' instant soup, cuz!"

As Dusk's shrieks died down with her death, a new volley of yells could be heard futher away from the entrance of the supermarket as the battle continued into the parking lot. A policeman drove by, gave it up as a bad job and went to stuff his fat gut with a bacon burger from Chicken Treat. The blood inside the shop could be seen draining along the inclined floor into a drain built especially for checkout sluts on the rags and fags with the bleedin' of the ass. Also all the kids in the skate park fell over and broke their necks and died. Especially the eight year old scooter ones. 


	5. Chapter 5

Brenda kicked aside the skull of a long dead boong, as she walked listlessly along the dirty dirt path toward her local trailer park. Despite all the shops she had gone to that morning, no matter how long she spent trying to unscrew the doorknobs with her vag, she had been unable to get herself and Philly. She had experienced many close calls with manic, bloody people in the street but her desperation drove her onwards and she remained determined and defiant. Now as her legs tired, she found herself walking along using her fat ass. Seriously, one cheek would clench and the other would be pushed into the air and then vice versa. She was now happily bouncing along the trail with hope in her heart.

From out of nowhere (well really from a trailer) that little Chinese kid from Indiana Jones: Temple of Doom appeared with half an arm missing and a blood stained face. "Oh no! HELP!" screamed Brenda. She then cocked her gun and aimed for the childs head.  
"No, no, miss!" he cried, "I'm not a zombie! I was just attacked by the little Arab prince from the - " Brenda lowered her gun, and shot him in the foot. Screaming, the little shit began pleading to Brenda with tears leaking from his clenched eyes. "No! No! Please I'm not one of them! I am not going to hurt you! Indi oh Indi! I ruv you Indi"  
Brenda silenced him with a shot between his eyes. Blowing across the cannister she stated: "I don't speak Japanese ... "

Now Brenda shouldn't have been allowed a gun; Australian laws dictating that every citizen does NOT have the right to firearms. However her weapon had been smuggled in up her niece's vag so Brenda could protect herself from the half-Irish and other such monstrosities. As a rule, Brenda refused to conceive with her German husband on the grounds that her full Irish blood and his Germanic heritage would spawn a half-Irish abomination probably with blond hair, blue eyes and an extra-long foreskin that reached to the floor and even grew back when it was cut. And wings too. And a forked tongue. And a huge cyst of body fluids over their heart. Therefore, when Brenda heard the next trailer door slam open she regarded the emerging occupant with hesitant curiosity.

"Got damn, Aurora! There be a lady in our yard totin' a loaded pistol! Well fuck a duck, I ent never had so many feathers tickling my vag to a bliss like this"  
Lou Lee had clambered out of her trailer. As her feet left the platform, the seemingly permanent sag in the metal body corrected itself and the world seemed to be in perfect harmony ... until her feet touched the road and the apocalypse re-emerged.  
"What evs, bevs! I told you to git me some tampons from the store I been bleeding into this cup fo hours and I ent keen on tomato soup for dinner tnite!"a voice cried from inside.  
"What ethnicity are you?!" Brenda interrogated, "Are you half-Irish"  
"'Choo crazay?! I ent got a dilute drop in me! However, my daughter is goin out with a black irish fella ... but that's beside the point. Fact is that be her cousin so I only related by marriage ... if that's what ya call it when a sexual goddess like me gives herself to a horny floor manager all for a pack o' chicken stock cubes! And those stock cubes ruined ma famous beef casserole! Fuck you, Ready Steady Cook! I didn't steal ma Teebo for shit like dat! HOLLER!"

Brenda lowered her weapon and asked: "Do you think, maybe ... you could help me get into a store? I'm desperate"  
"Awww yeeeah! With all these sinners runnin' 'round today it's no wonder the Lord guided you to ma trailer. O' course I'll help you, bish! Just clamber on in and I'll start 'er up!" Lou Lee cried. "AURORA! GET YOUR BLEEDIN' CLIT OFFA THE FLOOR AND START UP THE ENGINE!" Despite the fact that both women had been standing vulnerable for more than two minutes, no zombies had approached because they were too busy gorging upon the body of one of those fat kids who wears skater clothes but are too fat to skate and therefore advocate the pretentiousness of a generation.

Starting in third gear, Lou Lee argued that the bumps here due to the local council's negligence of suburban roads. A loud twang signified the snapping of the Teebo cable and the severence of Lou Lee from what she knew and loved to a world without her stow-rees. Realising this she tried to snatch Brenda's gun from her. When she failed she pulled a tampon from the vag and thrust in into her mouth, hoping to dry out her body and end her sorry existence. All she got was a mouthful of blood, semen and crabs. "Damn this gotta be the men-oh-paws kickin' in! I knew I should have had a baby over 40 then maybe ma clock coulda slowed down a bit ... or maybe ... "

Shifiting into 4th gear with her left hand and clutching the steering wheel with her right, Lout thrust her arm into her pelvic region and began to have a little feel. Suddenly she found what she was looking for. "Awww hell! I is preggers! I IS PREGGERS! I IS PREG-EH-NANT-EE! PRAGNANT! I GOTS A LITTLE MIRACLE IN ME! I GOTS AN ABOMINATION STEALIN' ALL MA REFRIED BEANS FOR DINNER! I GOTS A PLACENTA FORMING AND A SLIGHTLY LOWERED IMMUNE SYSTEM! I GOTS A BABY ON THE WAY!" Lou Lee spent the rest of the journey trying to figure out who the father could be and enlisted Brenda to read out her vaginal temperature versus sexual partner diary in order to work out who she screwed whilst ovulating.

Narrowing it down to Adidas, the floor manager, Oliver the shop manager, Scott the dumb sped, the guy who did the dirty in the trailer park swimming pool and o' course the good Lord himself bestowing her virginal self with an immaculate conception Lou decided to head towards Rancher John's supermarket in order to confront 3 of the possible fathers. Suddenly she ran out of petrol but a koora walked past and she pumped its stomach with a hose until it began to regurgitate petrol into the tank. Casting the thing aside she clambered back inside just as three zombies rounded the corner and began to chase the trailer. Aurora opened the back door to vommit up her lunch of tomato soup and found herself face to face with what was once a toight bodied athletic male. He was keeping pace with the racing trailer so Aurora saw no harm in copping a feel of him.

As she reached out and under, the runner clutched at her arm and in shock, Aurora pulled the monster into the back of the van. Wrestling with death, Aurora made ever attempt to avoid getting bitten and scratched to satisfy her attacker's cannibalistic desires whilst making every other attempt to satisfy her own animalistic desires.  
"Or-or-ah Cherry-Coke! Also known as Dr. Pepper! Also known as cat piss! 'Choo doing back there? Brenda, go sor her out or at least take the wheel so I can gi' her a slap! Go on, git!" burst Lou Lee.  
Brenda hurried away from the driver's section of the trailer and shat in the creature's face until it fell back through the door and broke it's faulty ass against the asphalt. Sobbing, Aurora said:  
"He didn't like me ... he didn't like me because I was TOO FAT"  
"Now now honey ... I used to be a size humano nimbus before I got here ... so embarrassing. Besides he was probably a faggot anyway. There's nothing more homoerotic than two friends donning shorts and a t-shirt and jogging to a shopping complex and back."

Feeling better and more comfortable around this new woman, Aurora felt it okay to let rip a big one. It fuckin' stank. Both women laughed so hard they peed themselves and fought bitterly to be the first into the toilet of the trailer. Suddenly Lou barged past them crying: "Awww crap I peed maself too! I just saw a little boy and he was beggin' me to pick him up! And then I realised I had a report due for work! And given I was doing yoga at the same time, it's only to be expected I soiled myself. At least I didden shit mase- oh forget I said anythin' ... " As she sealed herself in the infested toilet the other two tramps realised that no one was driving the trailer. Looking out of the windscreen they saw a pair of automatic glass doors quickly approaching. Screaming they hurried to protect themselves and each hid in the other's vag in some kind of paradox like when a snake eats it's own tail but basically all three women survived when their trailer hurtled through the doors, a crowd of zombies, a dirty half-Irish and the metal roller door of Rancher John's.

To be Cuntinued ... !! 


	6. Chapter 6

Watching the circle of shocked survivors in Rancher's, you could have guessed that each was reliving the whore-or of the last few minutes. You could have guessed, looking at Scott, that the special boy had failed basic geometry; he had failed to grasp the concept of a circle and stood in the middle of everyone. However, you couldn't have guessed that only meteres away ... expired Chichos were on special because what kind of effing retard - sorry, fucking retard - would put expired Chico's on special.

"Oh fark ... I forgot to clock in," moaned Scott.  
"Well I'm not gonna let it slide this time," retorted Adidas, "I don't pay you to stand around and breathe"  
"Well then I'll stop breathing if you're not going to pay me for it"  
As Scott turned steadily bluer, Adidas was turning paler and his shirt redder as it failed to staunch his open bite and his pubes more ginger as the dye was running out. Rhianna began to shake with tears: "Adidas! If you've been bitten then that means you're infected which means," she let out an agonising sob, "you can't give it to me up the ass anymore because you're always so rough and I shit bloody pineapples for days! I really should stop shoving those up my cunt," she added.

Shocking nobody, Rhianna's words were followed with silence inside but the perpetual chaos outside. A faint industrial engine noise would be heard and it grew until a huge crash of glass came from foyer. The doors rumbled and everyone fled from the area except for Rhianna who clamped at the floor via her easy access, flyless-pants - relishing in the vibrations.

The crescend of noise climaxed with Rhianna's worn-out orgasm and a shriek of heavy metal collisions, not new metal ... cause that genre sucks dick and this notepad doesn't have an apostrophe thingy for genre but anyway as I was saying - Scott pocketed a bottle of oil and found himself facing Nightfill guy. "Hey ... Nightfill guy! Hehehe! Guess what? I just stole ... a bottle of oil"  
"Aich kay, Scott. Don't rub all of it over your naked body, save some for later ... you know we're going through an oil crisis"  
"Wow ... then this is worth like ... 1000 ... my stomach must be worth ummm ... like 5000 a week!" He began to pull all the oil from the shelf and then ran to the office, as fast as he could on a six dollar salary and a pair of permanently stressed feet.

Oh yeah, so anyway the twisted metal was a trailer which destroyed a roller door and had now wedged itself firmly within the gap. As the door was kicked open. a tidal wave of blood and urine and blond hair dye and abortion juice flooded out bearing three drenched women on its crest. Slipping herself into an upright position, Lou Lee surveyed the mess.  
"Awww shit! Thank you Mr Hooker, for reccomending I ditch the housing commision and just haul fat ass over to the trailer park. Also, thanks for the fighdollar quickie. Ent no house gunna pull this Melrose Place shit on me! Holy Blue Dan-oo-bee, am just gonna waltz maself over to the "ladies' hygiene" section and get me come clits 'r' us amenities!"

Away she swam with Aurora behind, stroking some breast. Brenda cunt-snorkeled her was to the fridge, paying a visit to Philadelphia Pensylvania. Everyone else in the store listened in horror:  
"Damn Aurora, looks like all the giantess goddess tampons are gone to the great flood gates below"  
"I gots an idea, mama! We can use these loaves of bread. Looksie here! and then it's like a whole damp loaf of bliss tonight for dinner"  
"Helloooooooooooooooooo 60 percent less fat!"

Suddenly thumps could be heard from behind a porno pic of Lou Lee on the trailer wall. A scabbed and bloody lump popped out of her vag, the vag of the REAL Lou Lee tha is, and at the same time the whole wall gave was to an onslaught of zombies. As the surged forward the humans ran and escaped to a variety of spots. Nightfill guy and two others simply headed up: using the shelves as steps they climbed their way far above their enemies and proceeded to throw lemon cake mix as a defense and managing to destroy 5 of the fiends.

A group of five males led by Olliver and Adidas clambered up the stairs to the monies office and they were closely followed by an already stripping Rhianna. Scott was safely secluded in the staffroom trying to get the clock-in machine to work by asking it nicely after spending the last five minutes debating over the second "T" in his name. The creatures claime twelve of the unlucky consisting of eleven asians and a wog so basically everyone alive is white visually except Adidas is obvo mentally black (or so he'd like to think). The unearthly screams of the undead rose until they could be hear all through the shop.

From the meat froom came a yeall. Through the plastic curtain emerged a sexy beast of a butcher (apprentice) clad with metal gloves, rubber boats, an apron and a faggy jumper. He was armed with a severly spiked manual mincer and a gleaming cleaver and he yelled:  
"The HUCK is going on here? Who are all these huckin' wet jelahs?! Time for this butcher to earn his title! And his 400 weekly pay! Because I wanna buy Popular off Ebay and I am also gonna look into white Adidas tracksuit pants too! Becuase they are very important! And I had better hurry up! And Nightfill guy is awesome! And I am a sexy beast!"

"Oh I accidentally got milk on your brown jacket," interrupted Nightfill guy, "but I washed it off. Seriously last night I like smashed 10 litres of milk and had to chuck it all down the meatroom sink. But did you fuckin see the milk fridge?! One litre containers aside, I reckon the 2L and 3L was pretty good." So they eventually shat the fuck up and the apprentice refocused his attention on the task at hand - to cleave some koora ass! 


	7. Chapter 7

The apprentice butcher tightened his bloodied apron and skied along the blood drenched floor to the throng of zombies in the tampon section. Lou Lee was frantically trying to fend off, wank off and fuck off you white cunt! "No, no! These wing-ed tampons are mine! Mine! I ain't gots no good water retention so I is needin these! I don't care if your eyes and bloody cheek are on tha rags! The ring is mine!" Suddenly Lou Lee flourished her hand and her "24k" golden ring flew through the air and landed with a bounce on the linoleum floor. Yeah it kinda snapped in half and a chip landed in the mince meat. "Ohs no! I brokes ma weddin' ring! Now ma finger ain't looking purty no more cause I never really took it off, not even when I was cheatin, and now it's all white, pale and clammy. Like ma vag"  
Before any of the creatures could take a bite, the apprentice cleaved the air with his cleaver and at the end of the cleave arc he cleaved off the head of a now cleaved zombie. And then he kept cleavin and they all died.  
"What are we going to do with the bodies?" asked Adidas, the bald cunt.  
"Let's mince them, can the mincer take human bodies?" asked Olliver.  
"Of course they do!" cried the apprentice, "it can take four at time, like last week when I ... er ... didn't kill the security guard cunt who tried to stop my friend when he only put his OWN book is his bag and wouldn't steal anything anyway because is a night filler and why would anyone take stuff in broad daylight"  
"Shut the fuck, am hungreee!" cried Lou Lee.  
"Lets order pizza!" cried Scott.  
"You forgot the apostrophe, you uneducated cunt!" yelled Nightfill guy. "It is an abbreviation of let us! So that sentence just doesn't work and I guess we can't get pizza. Why not try again, you moron"  
"Umm ... lets ... let ... s ... lets ... " he stuttered.  
"WRONG!" everyone yelled.  
"Have you gots any clay?" Lou Lee the clay eater enquired.  
"Errr we don't sell clay here ... " Olliver replied.  
"Fine fine. Got any potting mix"  
With that she hauled her sagging tits off the ground and thumped her way over to the hardware section. Whilst there she picked up a vibrating screwdriver, her potting mix bag and a pineapple for good luck. When she was finished pleasuring her vag (she derived no pleasure from it herself because all her nerve endings were worn out down there) she used Scott as a douche and went to sleep in her busted trailer. Forgetting that the wall had been broken down, she stripped to her skin and began to dance to Kate's Bush.  
"I am sao good at these dance moves. I can even teleport like that red witch girl from the fillum clip"  
Lou Lee disappeared from sight, having teleported into the foyer, but before the zomies present could attack she teleported again. And this went on and on until she had cirumnavigated the world, arrived back at her bed, turned around three times, marked her territory with a steaming jet of urine and fell asleep ... literally falling and landing on her daughter's outie bellybutton.  
"Damn, Aurora, we should never have gone to Mexica to deliver you, that doctor cut your umbilical cord too short! And that's an extra inch I coulda had for the eatin"  
A shadow moved in the bed next to her daughter. A black shape rose. A clicking like those of pincers could be heard.  
Dusk had returned, not fully safe and not fully alive. 


	8. Chapter 8

Louise Leanne was stumping through her cluttered suburban home with a tray of food for her mama, Mama. As she walked the hunk of butter smeared across the toast wobbled and jittered and the curdling on top of the milk followed suit. It made Lou Lee think of her own fat ass and her love handles which crept down to meet it. Stepping into the living room she faced her surpsisingly-still-living mother splayed on her bean bag.  
"Mama! I gots yer breakfast here! However one wonders if 'breakfast' is an appropriate title given y'all never stop eatin' and thus it follows that there is no fast for me to break," Lou Lee supplied.  
"Louise Leanne Louis Leeroy Cita! Don't you go lecturin' me! I just then stopped eatin' for a whole minute whilst you was proCRAStinatin' in the kitchen. You ent never gonna get a husband with that housework ethic. HOLLER!" Mama began to click her tongue to cheek her daughter.  
"Mama! Mama Cita! Don choo start clickin' yer tongue at me! I is a big girl now! I gots kids of ma own! Mama! Mama stop clickin"  
Lou Lee Lou Lee woke up.  
"STOP CLICKIN'!" she screamed. Taking in her surroundings Lou Lee sourced the source of the clicking noise. It was Dusk who happened to click every time she spoke because she had this-  
"SHUT UP CLICKY! HELP!" Lou Lee was screaming. Next to her Aurora stretched and booted Dusk in the face, her overlong toenails slashing open the hideous girl turned hideous monster's face. Both women were now screaming when Oliver came to the rescue with a frozen pizza.  
"Damn I'll eat later, Olliver!" Lou cried. "Wait, actually gimme some now I is hungry as a whore!" Olliver pulled away saying:  
"No, Lou Lee. This is to stop the zombie"  
"What zombie? You mean Dusk? Damn I thought she just wanted to have a conversation. That girl is sooo boring and she never stops clickin'. I think it's because she"  
"So you tried to kill her?" Olliver paused and then nodded, "Regardless we have to kill her now!" He ripped open the pizza box and thrust a frozen slice at Dusk's head, its sharp point aimed for her nose. Suddenly Dusk carved the air with her hooked nose and it shredded the hapless slice of Supremo.  
"Lou Lee help me! Aurora you too!" Olliver cried handing out the slices of pizza. Only one made it through the air to pierce Dusk's skull. She fell to the ground dead. To his left, Olliver could see Lou swallowing a pizza shaped lump which she had forgotten to chew. To his right Aurora's throwing hand had disappeared up her skirt; a grin of bliss was plastered on her beautiful face.  
"Aurora, you be a good gil and give that pizza to yer hungry mama when yer finished. What flavour is it again"  
"I gots some bee bee cue chicken here mama! It's all thawed out too"  
"Aurora Borealis, you just damn disgustin! I ain't gonna eat bee bee cue chicken even if it's been up yer sweet garden o' pleasure!" Lou screeched.  
Later that day they held a funeral for Dusk in the drinks and chips aisle to avoid the coons getting high in the cleaning product aisle. Speared on top of an extra tall 20L bottle of coke, Dusk's body was surveyed by the survivors in Rancher John's. On a podium of Cherry and Vanilla Coke Aurora gave her eulogy:  
"I didn't know much about Dusk except that she wore a sari and she had a really, really, REALLY hooked nose. Oh and she also clicked when she talked I think it was because of ... let me think. I remember now. This one time I went to the oo-nee versity open day to here about what prospects a pretty young girl like me had. They told me to just donate my brain to science and sell myself on the street. Ha! Like I'd ever do that! Give maself to science, pur-lease. Anyways. she kept going on about this operation ... or should I say click OP click ER click A click TION! And I was kinda afraid to ask because I kinda knew already. Well anyway I just decided to go on ahead. I went: 'Dusk! What is this damned operation click for?!' and she said: 'For my huge cle"  
"I have something to say!" cried a mourning man that morning. He climbed the podium and thrust Aurora aside. Clearing his throat, he began:  
"My name is Craig. I was once asked to write a list of the priorities in my life. I numbered them one to ten, ascening order in terms of face value but descening in terms of real value. I must have masturbated ten thousand times as a teenager. And I'm glad I'm standing here today and was able to share a little about myself with you." Smiling, he returned to his seat which now had a perimeter of ten metres around it.  
As the body was carted away and thrust outside for the dogs, Adidas clambered up the front with bandages wrapped around his right hand.  
"When Dusk sacrificed herself to save us, she must have been bitten by thousands of those things! And she turned into one of them! I was bitten too, only by one, but that means I'm going to become one too"  
"Break out tha Coke and stop boring us nee ger!" Lou Lee hollered.  
"But please, wait! I don't want to put any of you in danger so I'm afraid I'm going to have to go outside too and embrace death ... or undeath I guess"  
"Don choo get clever with us with yer puns and playin' with yer words like some kinda dyke on a byke! If ya lyke! Damn, I just did it myself then. I guess I better embrace my lesbianity"  
"Mama!" Aurora interrupted, "Given that we are staying in this shop we have been employed by Rancher John himself! But it says here in the Australian Workplace Agreement that there is a clause against goin' lesbian in the workplace"  
"Damn, it's those heterosexuals again"  
"What's a hech-row-sexual mama"  
"Don choo worry, Or-or-ah! You'll never have to worry about them"  
"Are you fired, mama"  
"O' course not! Thank the Lord Rancher John is a bull dyke of a woman"  
"Have you been listening to a word I've been saying?" Adidas cried. He looked around and realised everyone else had left to stuff themselves in the confectionary aisle. "Well if you two aren't gonna help me you may aswell stack the chocolate"  
"Is it a one for you one for me situation?" Aurora asked.  
"If it was, believe me I'd be in there in a second!" Lou replied.  
Nightfill guy appeared: "I don't think a woman of your size ... your fat pooling on the floor around you ... should be making a joke like that"  
"What about me?" cried Adidas.  
"Well whenever I have to pass a drug test there was always a little trick I used." Lou said.  
Ten minutes later Lou Lee had set of the toiletries aisle to act as a mini-hospital for their makeshift blood transfusion. Adidas' blood was drained onto the floor from his right arm. A cord in his left arm supplied unzombified blood to the man. It ended in his bicep after trailing along the floor and finding its source in Aurora's mensturation vag. Five litres later Adidas was cleansed of the zombie blood and tainted with the menstural blood of Aurora. "Damn mama I didn't know I could bleed so much! I feel lighter too!" Aurora exclaimed.  
"Der, slut, you were pregnant for years! Remember that day you really needed to shit but didn't want to because you were keeping your ass clean for your boyfriend? Well o' course the baby suffocated inside of you and I guess Adidas now has all that blood"  
"Oh, mama! I feelin' weak. I woulda called that baby Faynor"  
"Oh Aurora, you spelt it wrong! You need to spell it ef ee ay en oh ar with an oomlaw on the ay! F?nor"  
"No mama! I likes it my way! Truly, the strength and life that would have nourished many have gone forth into Feanor." And with that Aurora lay herself down into a deep sleep, her spirit even leaving her body which lay still warm in the toiletries aisle. Adidas, the father of the unborn Faynor tended to her body for years ... grieving for his beloved. He was also the father of Aurora having made love to the unlovely Lou Lee Lou Lee eighteen years before. Therefore Aurora was his twice beloved. AND now the blood of his son Faynor ran through his veins and thus Aurora his mother, wife and daughter was truly thrice beloved by him. She remained then the Sleeping Beauty of the toiletries aisle ... ever waiting for her prince to come. Eyes rolling into the back of her head, Lou Lee made a prophecy:  
"The one to wake ma daughter will truly be of the Vanyar and of noble blood! He willeth come in a chariot emblazon-ed with a diamond and the numbers TWO and ONE! He will come here ere the minglin' of tha lights! Truly recallin' the days of old when Laurelin and Telperion would be waxin and wanin"  
Yada yada yada, that night at six there was a ringing at the delivery station. A Domino's car had pulled up, its diamond crest with the two and one domino sign blazing in the setting of the sun and the rising of the moon. A young blond beauty of a man rushed out of the car and through the open door into Rancher John's. Everyone gathered to greet him.  
"Heeelllooo!" he cried. "I'm Thcott and I have a meatloverth pithza with a two litre bottle of creaming thoda for ... Thcott"  
"Umm," began Scott, "I ordered that ... but my name is Scott ... "  
"Scott, he has a lisp." Nightfill guy explained.  
"I think it's actually a pizza with creaming soda"  
"Well I gueth you mutht be Thcott! I would match you to that thecthy cute voithe I heard on the phone any day!" They then retired to the office to eat their meal. After they finished, Thcott stood and face Jordan.  
"Take of your clotheth!" he cried.  
"Umm ... okay," Scott the little tub of lard replied. And it then became clear to everyone that Thcott was a flamin' gay and that Jordan could be talked into anything. Most importantly though, they realised that Thcott was the prophecised prince of the diamond chariot. Aurora was going to be sleeping for a long time. 


	9. Chapter 9 Eragon

Mercedes looked at the jagged scar on her fanny where her recently deceased and then receased and ceased breathing boyfriend Cadbury Chocolate had bitten her. As her Mama would say, "Mercedes, is yao cunt bleedin again?!" Mercedes breathed a silent yes to her mother as she sat in the recreation centre turned refuge. She turned to her new friend Christopher Paolini or as she liked to call him Wogkunt. "Watch yao doin Pao?! I mean Wogkunt." she enquired of the wog cunt.  
"Well, Mercedes, it's funny you should ask. I am writing a fantasy novel! But it's not just fantasy I like to think I can bring in many themes. But not sci-fi. I swear I didn't copy Star Wars"  
"But how is ya gonna publish it with the world endin' and all?!" Mercedes mouthed.  
"Sorry Mercedes, I couldn't understand you. I can't read lips, especially your gigantic nigger lips. That reminds me of that new character I wanted to put into the story. What is elvish for nigger? I know ... I'll change the first letter to the next letter in the alphabet just like EragonDragon. Oigger!! that will be the race and"  
"Shut up and answer ma damn question! How ya gonna publish it"  
"I'll just make my parents company publish it and then inflict it upon children. Kinda like aids"  
Mercedes tuned out and began to remember the day the horror started. Her boyfriend, dead. Her mother, sister, gone. Her home, her friends ... the caravan she sheltered in, her first wank at nine. She conjured these images mentally and then physically as her hand crept into her cunt and began to carress her flappy vag.  
"OI NIGGER MOVE!" a voice cried. This guy pushed past her, only to be stopped by Peter "IwishIwerecoon" Garret.  
"That's racist!" he cried. Then he turned to his coon friend and gave him a blow job. The coon is refusing to look at the camera "coz it steals yer soul cuz".  
All of a sudden there was a crash at the side of the gym in the rec centre they were all in, in case you lost track of the story. A gigantic shadow blocked the sunlight now streaming into the gym (g as in gay not giant).

"Who opened the door?!" Somone screamed. And no I didn't spell someone wrong, her name was Somone.  
"The zombies will get in! Or should I call them ... fuck the alphabet ends there. What comes after z?" Wogkunt asked.  
"!ombies! !ombies! are coming"  
"Stop talking with so many Z's you psycho." The shadow moved and suddenly a fatty batty boy came into the gym. He had been blocking a whole crown of !ombies from entering the gym. "Where's ma hot chips?" he asked. "I'm wastin away here!" he cried.  
The hundred of refugees in the recreation centre ran hither and thither to escape. But unfortunately the thither implies a return to their origin which is where the !ombies were and they were eaten. Mercedes leapt to her feet and used her african legs to sprint outside in the direction of Rancher Joe's nearby. Suddenly a hand grabbed her and she turned to face the fat boy who had opened the door.  
"Excuse me. Where are the hot chips? There's no one at the kiosk"  
"Omg you retard, run! They're coming"  
"To the refuge! Or should I say, Uo uhe sefuge!" Wog kunt cried subtly.  
"Real subtle, Wog kunt"  
So the three of them ran and reached the shop and tried to look for an entrance. The zombies were approaching quickly and some fresh ones could be seen amongst the stock characters of this story: the slut, the religious one, the loser "we fell in love" couple, the dad searching for his children all of them had been devoured dead and then undeaded and now chasin the survivors. Peter Garret suddenly stopped and cried:  
"We should not run from our brothers, we're all humans! We need to reconcile! Just because their skin is red and decaying doesn't mean they don't have the same soul. This reminds me of a song called "Treaty"". Then he began to sing,

_Nhima Djatpangarri nhima walangwalang -  
Nhe Djatpayatpa nhima gaya nhe-  
Matjini.... Yakarray - nhe Djat'pa nhe walang - Gumurrtijararrk Gutjuk abo abo koon kunt_

The zombies collided with the wetjelah and feasted on his skeletal freak body. It bought the survivors one second.

"Oi, fatty, how do you get inside" said niggerbitch.  
"I use the air vent" Scott replied.  
"That's not an airvent, it's the roller door"  
"Awwww! No wonder it's such a tight squeeze"  
Mercedes commandeered the abandoned forklift, bracing herself with her hands and steering with her cunt. The roller door crumpled and she squeezed through the wreckage. The other two folllowed, sprinting and rolling. A door lay open in front: a strong reinforced door made of the strongest metal in the world (the same metal as this lotr ring my friend bought) the ploughed through it instantly (the ring shatter FYI) and blocked up the gap with a freezer.  
"OH MY HOD I LEFT MY MANUSCRIPT OF BRISINGR RETURNS OUTSIDE!" moaned wogkunt. He wrenched open the gap only to come face to face with his zombified father.  
"Oh hey, dad. Can you spot me some money to publish my next greatest fantasy novel ever?"  
Daddy bit his face off. The creatures began to spread through the store in a completely non-systematic way like all dumbkunt shoppers and wankers were caught un-awares whilst wanking whilst non-wankers were caught un-awares not wanking. At the front of the store Louise Leanne fired up her motor home. Mercedes rushed to greet her mother and take refuge in the haven.  
"No niggaz allowed!" Lou Lee cried as she smacked her daughter aside. "Oh wait, that's ma daughter!" she added and admitted her. "Speaking of daughters, where's my FAVOURITE daughter, Aurora "White" Borealis?!" Adidas and Oliver carried her on board and closed the door after Thcott, Scott and ... Rhianna. A mottled hand attacked the motley crew screeching for blood. It got some as Lou Lee fired her period at it, blasting it backwards and away from the door. And as quickly as her trailer had come to the store it was gone leaving the area bereft of her bleach-blonde stench and fat muffin top.

Then they drove.  
"Mercedes, ma cunt be hurtin! Get me an panadol!" Lou Lee cried.  
The nigger slave picked one up, "Mama I just might take one too, ma headsa hurtin, real baad."  
"That's for the same reason as ma cunt hurtin! Yao head hurts cause I shoved a coat hanger into it when yall was minus one month born! Same reason ma cunt hurts coz I has a been shovin too many coat hangers up it. Now gimme ma panadol. HOLLER!"  
"I love you mama!"  
"Quiet, nigga! Your father musta been the biggest coooon eva!"  
And he was.


	10. Chapter 10

Louise turned to look lovingly over at her loving new gee eff Thelma.  
"Hawt dawg, Thelma! Y'all has niiice titties!" she hollered!  
"Omg Louise, youse is nice cunt lips they smell like roses, feel like apple pie, look like the gate o' heaven, taste like the fountain o' youth and sound like ... well if I lube up ma fingers and squelch em round it sounds like a plunger down the toilet. THAT'S HAWT!!!" Thelma the heterosexual replied.  
"Shut up you dyke kunt!" Louise Leanne replied. She recalled the past few days. Along with fellow survivors Mercedes (Kiba), Aurora Borealis, Rhianna, Thcott, Scott and ... yeah that's it ... there were now in the caravan Chris Brown, Rhainna's new bee eff, Thelma, the dyke kunt, and Claw, long lost sister of dusk ... she had electrodactyly which pretty much means she has lobster claws for hands.  
"Claw! I would let you drive but I'm too afraid your fuckin lobster claws would chop up the wheel ... but whaddya say Edwina Scissorhands, wanna trim my bush?"  
She held up a hydrangea bush simultaneously. Claw trimmed it down to size.  
"Fuckin' dumb claw bitch, I was talkin' bout ma pussy! You just ruined my plant!" She snapped one of Claw's claws as per clause five of Louise Leanne caravan rules: don't ruin her hyndrangea bush cause if you do you're a cunt.  
So the group were driving to Mandurah in order to escape the horror of urban life. They were headed to the horror of suburban life. Oh and I forgot, Brenda the chilli philli bitch was with them too. And she said:  
"I have a boat in Mandurah we can all go stay in! We'll sail to Indonesia and stay there! Maybe we'll be safe ... maybe there is hope."  
"Yeah, mama!" cried Kiba. "We will be safe there! There are heaps of islands and we can stay on one that isn't inhabited! I can see it now ... we will live off the land until this illness dies out. We'll be okay in Indonesia! This is the bestest most safest idea ever! What do you say?" She stood up at the end of her impassioned speech and the whole party gazed at the niggerobama admiringly. Bar Louise:  
"Narrr I hate asians."  
They entered the freeway but the way was not free of cars and wreckages amongst which zombies staggered. The caravan cranked up to 5 kilmoetres an hour but the horde began to gain on them.  
"OMG WES GONNA DIE!" screamed everyone except for Thelma coz her mouth was full blowing Louise.  
"JUST SHUT UP AND DRIVE DRIVE DRIVE DRIVE!" cried niggerhianna. With that, Chris Brown seductively embraced her, carressed his way up her curvacious body, wrapped his arms around her tender neck .  
and began to throttle the bitch whilst punching her in the face. Kiba was overcome with her own memory of being beaten by her ex bee eff. She began to boil inside, it was all rising ... wait no ... it was all going down. Her cunt exploded in ecstasy. She began to spout from all three orifices and thus the caravan was projected at the speed of orgasm all the way to Mandurah.  
They had arrrrriiivvvveeeddddd!

THE END!!!!!!1 


	11. Chapter 11

Author note: OKAYZZZ SO I CAN'T REMEMBER WHERE I LAST WROTE SO I'LL PICK AND CHOOSE WHO IS STILL IN IT. NIGHTFILL PLUS BUTCHER GUY. SCOTT. LOU LEE. AURORA. THE BLACK SLUT CALLED KIBA. INTRODUCING: THE PHIT BOY, THE BABY-BODY-WOMAN HEAD SLUT, THE ONE WHO WOULDN'T GIVE BUTCHER BOY THE TIME OF DAY.

Lou Lee examined her crotch with a hand mirror, a daily ritual.  
"FUCK my crotch is very pale - better itch it a bit and burn it into redness with a magnifying glass!"  
Kiba: But Mama! You willz getz skinz cancerz! And we can't go outside cause the zomibes are there!"  
Lou Lee replied: "Look, you black cunt, stop condoning Judaiism. AND stop speaking in script form. This t'a'i'n't (couldn't work out the apostrophes) no willy nilly fanfiction script shit you cunt! But yeah wtf does that slut know about skin cancer? Apparently one in three is affected by cancer but I'm pretty sure one in three ain't a neeeeeger. ANYWHO!"  
Lou was lucky enough to have a nice smooth vag because she mastied so much. And by mastied I mean: she rubbed her hand against her cunt till she came. She inserted her had into her vag - like a housewife shoves her desperate hand into a wet turkey ( I dunno, I saw it on that down syndrome girl's page who likes desperate housewives), Lou Lee shoved her hand into her cunt and FUCK she pulled out a baby.

Now: Pryde and Prejudizzle by Yane Austen.

A child was born in the toiletries aisle (they use man pads to soak it up) called ... PHIT BOY. And Lou Leee cried:  
"'tis truly a gift from God! I shall call it Rapunzel! (trans: Matthew = gift from God) May he be a cunt."

In case you didn't notice, they were back in the shop. And teh zombie threat was totally still happeningz. Seriously. Zombies take total precendence. Narrative is not dicated by the trivialities of relationships.

BUT ANYWAYS!

Let's talk about the relationship between Nightfill guy and PHIT BOY. Basically Nightfill guy won't sleep with Phitboy no matter how phit he is so yeah that's it. Instead, Nightphill guy and the totally phit butcher were brothers with benefits (you know ... brothers who fuck) so WHAT ELSE WOULD THEY NEED?  
Phuck they are tho fit *lisp*

Sense and Sensibizzle: By Yane Austen.

Two slut sisters who are sluts ... One plays the clarinet (with her vagina) the other has crab hand. I thoughtz they were the same person!  
So the survivors were all rly board! They were so board they wrote a calculator program about it:  
Hey

It's mir.

I am SOOOOOOO BORED!

LOL!

Mr _ (cause that's what happens in Yane Austen) is sooooooo boring!

lol

luv mir (the ranga)

Because one of the survivors had dyed their hair orange, like that fruit called an orange (stupid slut). Lou Lee decided to buy some steel wool and scratch her vag. Brutal, I know, but she had had like 500 pregnancies and 2 babies so, you know, she was very metal (coat-hanger) friendly.

Fair enough *lisp*

INTRODUCING THE BABY BODY HEAD-SLUT. Her name is Celeste (yeah, like the instrument) she has brittle bone syndrome and oh fuck she got but so we had to beat her to death and reappropriate her wheelchair battery as the main power supply for the store ie: Lou Lee's industrial grade dildo.

Lou Lee: Hey mt cunt is tickling a bit ... not much though.  
Jus And then some zombies broke in. 1% was black because black people do exist. Just trying to be multicultural. They had really long legs, big white eyes, red lips and HEEEELLLL white teeth.

THEY END (srsly) 


	12. Chapter 12

AN: THE STRUCTURE OF MA ZOMBIE FANFIC IS SO POSTMODERN BECAUSE LAST CHAPTER ACTUALLY TOOK PLACE EARLIER THAN CHAPTER TEN SO NOW THIS CHAPTER FOLLOWS ON FROM WHEN THEY ARRIVE IN MANDURAH! IF YOU DIDN'T ALREADY KNOW THIS THEN YOU ARE A STUPID CUNT AND GO GET A FUCKING POST-MODERN EDUCATION! AND BY THAT I MEAN - DON'T GET ONE AT ALL!

Kiba creeped out of the idling trailer with her childhood baseball bat poised for an attack. Because she was black she had wrapped the bulk of the bat in duct tape with nails and shit sticking out so she could ice any niggaz wit attitude. Kiba shimmied her way through the trailer park like a nigga prostitute (who has pulled herself out of her crack induced stupor - induced by her pimp - just long enough to remember how to shimmy (only black girls with tittays can shimmay)),her nigga black hair flying around her like snakes as she took a sip of her steaming hot cunt-excretion and at the same time stirred the large pot of chicken noodle soup she was heating for when everyone came back.  
The abomination recalled the argument that had taken place only moments ago in the trailer ... FLASHBACK Louise Leanne wiped her female-ejaculation-stained mouth as she addressed her tear-stained daughter:  
"Hey chocolate-stain! Y'all better git y'all's ace out inta da trailer park and find out if there are any of those THINGS out there!"  
"But those THINGS are still out there!" screamed Aurora. Aurora had been pulled out of her sleep when the survivors dressed her up as a fit boy and Thcott the pizza guy had kissed her in lust. She was now a man.  
"I think thothe THINGTH will think of attacking thith trailer, or thomethink, and we will think into oblivion whiltht thinging "I Dreamed a Dream" by ThuBo!" cried the Phitboy.  
"Well that just makes no sense! Only SuBo can sing "I Dreamed a Dream". Everyone else is shit." cried the British pubic. I mean public.  
"SHUT UP Y'ALL POMMY CUNTS! I know how to decide who will go outside! We will have a singing contest and whoever doesn't sing the bestest song EVA will have to go out!"  
Everyone cuntcurred and began to practise their "do, re, mi"s and do remi-xes of popular songs in order to win. Louise Leanne began with a sexy Disney number:  
"Tale as old as time ...  
Song as old as rhyme!  
Don't say no or maybe Ju-ust stroke your labi-  
aaaaaaaa LADY AND THE BABY!"  
She then bent down and kissed her unborn baby on the lips. Basically she sucked on her own cunt for a bit. The song continued:  
"Slurpy slurpy slurp ...  
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!  
muffle muffle muff I like eating muff.  
Slurpy slurpy slurp!"

Mercedes/Kiba then got up to sang. She had loosened her braids and wore a flowing white dress so no one could see her fat ass. She looked hot ... if you're into niggaz.  
"Aaaaa-a-aa-a-a-aaaaa-a-aaa-a-a-amm-mm-m-mm-m-m-m-m-a-a-aa-a-a-a-a-a-aa-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-zzzz-z-zz-zzi-i-iiiii-iiii-iiiii-nnnn-n-nn-n-nn-nn-n-nn-n-g-g-g-g-g-ggg-gg-g-gg Gggg-g-ggg-g-g-g-rrr-rrr-r-rr-rrr-aaa-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-cc-c-c-ccccc-c-cc-e-e-e-e-eeee-e-ee-e"  
As she sang, her eyes closed in bliss, she felt an ethereal grace lifting her overhanging fat ass off of the ground. When she opened her devious-black eyes she discovered that the other survivors had tossed her out of the caravan. They then put up a sign saying 'HELP! Alive inside!' along with 'No niggaz allowed' and 'Help us! No infection! No niggaz!'.  
"Kiba! Whilst y'all is out there - straighten up that last sign! AND GIT HELP!"  
END OF FLASHBACK wwhoooooossshhh!  
FLASH FORWARD whoooosh Lou mastrubated that night realz vigorously with an unidentified female.  
END OF FLASH FORWARD whoooosh!  
Kiba heard a rustling under her skirt. She had just shaved her pubes last night and now they were regrowing. That was the last time she'd get a real Brazilian to give her a Brazilian. As she walked, hacking at her regrowing pubes with a shard of bloody glass, she kept her bright white-black eyes peeled like potatoes and her ears pricked like her ex-boyfriend's condoms.  
SUDDENLY! Out of the blue, a figure came rushing at her - out of the blue trailer parked nearby. She raised her baseball bat and struck it on the head, the jagged nails making contact with the THING's head. Unfortunately her mother had been using her childhood toy as a masturbation aid for the past ten years and her vaginal acids had practically disintegrated the powerful bonds of the pure-titanium bat. "Eeeegghhhhhhaahahahahhhh!" cried the creature. Kiba stopped suddenly and gave a closer look to her assailant. They weren't even a zombie.  
"Ehhhhhhhhaagghghhhh!"  
"Aunty Leanne, is that you?" cried Kiba.  
"EEeeehhhhhhaaaaa!" groaned the muffin-topped fruit and vag manager.  
"Oh it is you! Say 'Hello!' to your niece! Mercedes now known as Kiba!"  
"eeeeahahhahaha!"  
"Oh that's so sweet. My boobs HAVE gotten bigger! Now come see momma in the trailer!"  
With a sour look on her flat face, Leanne Louise TiVo followed her sexy niece to her sexy sister's dilapidated trailer. The other survivor's rushed out to greet the eloquent and elegant new female of the group:  
"Eeeeeahahahahaaaggggaaa!"  
"Oh it's nice to meet you too!"  
"Tho nithe!"  
"Wonderful!"  
"... ummm it's ummm ... nice to ummm ..."  
"Have you any chilli-philli?"  
"FUCK YOU CUNT!" Louise Leanne struck out at her twin-with-benefits, Leanne Louise, "YOU STOLE THE ONLY MAN I EVER LOVED!"  
"Mama! You loved a man?" cried Aurora.  
"YES! HOLLA! I DREAMED A DREAM IN TIMES GONE BY! WHEN HOPE WAS HIGH ... HE WAS GONE WHEN AUTUMN CAME! AND STILL I DREAM HE'LL COME TO ME! BLAH BLAH SO DIFFERENT FROM THIS HELL I'M LIVING! ... NOW LIFE HAS KILLED ... THE DADDY ... I FUUUUUUUCKED!"  
"EEeehhhahahahaagggaaa!"  
"You mean ... after all these years he never stopped loving me?"  
"Eeeeeehhahahaggggai'mafatsluteeeeehhhhh!"  
"He's HERE? WHERE?" Lou Lee and Lee Lou rushed to the blue trailer where their father waited.  
"OH PAPA! YOU'RE HERE!" screamed Lou Lee. She rushed forward to embrace her father but before she stopped short when she was cock-blocked by his enormous erection.  
"Just like old times, eh kiddo?" cried Papa.  
"Oh mfPamfPa!" cried Louise, her mouth full. With that she sucked her daddy's cock until he was about to come. Then she pulled it out and let him ejaculate on her face.  
"I'm so glad this is good for my skin!" cried Louise.  
"Yes ... I see you still believe that, kiddo ... " replied her father.  
"I want some!" cried Aurora.  
"Me thotoo!" cried Phitboy.  
They exited the come-trailer, coming out with come on their comely faces.  
"COME ON! Let's start to build a barricade and stay here forever!"  
THE END 


	13. Chapter 13

Lou spat out her father's come.

She watched the come and saliva fly through the air in a brilliant streak - it was the silver lining of her cloudy week. The spit and sperm seemed to take an eternity to fall and in her ecstatic state, Lou orgasmically recalled the orgasmic events of the week in flashes of vivid images:

3 One of those THINGS dragging its rotting body through an unguarded aperture of the barricade  
3 Her fathers cock, throbbing and almost smiling at her  
3 Her sister's mouth gratefully accepting said cock  
3 That fucking slut being kicked into the invading THINGS by a foot encased in Croc sandals  
3 A beautiful pair of glitter gold crocs hope within the rubble of existence  
3 Her sister swallowing an army of zombies with her cunt and shredding them in her volatile womb

This beautiful montage assaulted her minds eye and her body, in a visceral reaction, exploded in ecstasy.  
A wave of come, spit, blood and female lady juice stuff his Leanne Louise. Louise Leanne, not wanting to miss out, licked her sister clean. Then licked her out.

Meanwhile, in the makeshift kitchen, the women were all making sandwiches for the men s lunch. Mercedes sighed, a sigh of remembrance of her life as a nigger slave, a sigh of bliss. Looking around with her shifty eyes, she automatically determined the street value of everyone s clothes in the room. Shaking her head out of this automatic response, MercedesKiba looked at the empty space where their head chef Brenda had been sitting before her sickness. As to the food they had to prepare for the men, the girls were at a loss. KibaNigraMercedes read the prmoninet sign on the wall of the kitchen:  
**FILL IT WITH PHILLI** luv Brenda

Ironically, Philli had been the downfall of Brenda the whore. Overindulging on divinity, Brenda had exhausted her body s tolerance for lactose and had shat out an ovary earlier that week. Thinking it to be a regular pile of shit, Leanne Louise had swallowed it whole. Unbeknownst to the Leanne, the come of her father had penetrated the ovary and she was now growing a baby because **THAT'S HOW PREGNANCY WORKS**.

Rosita _I mean Mercedes Kiba_ shimmied her way through the kitchen like a dancer, her onyx black hair flowing around her like a veil as she took a sip of her steaming hot coffee and at the same time stirred the large pot of chicken noodle soup she was heating for when everyone came back. Actually scrap the back bit. for when everyone came because everyone was fucking at the moment and would be hungry in their post ejaculatory state.

In the next trailer a meeting was taking place. It had been decided that decisions needed to be made in a decisive manner to decide what the survivors were going to decide to do. The first decision, to decide, had already been debated and argued. Scott, the adjudicator of the debate, remained indecisive about his decision of the winner of the decision debate.

On one side, the positive team who argued for a decision to be made laid in impatient wait; Thcott, Christopher Paolini and Phitboy made up team **FAGG F**or **A G**reater** G**ood (pro-decision team). The negative team, Aurora Coke Tebo Pepsi Borealis Sleeping Beauty, Thelma and Rhianna, waited in blissful respect of Scott s indecision. They were team **LESBIAN **(because they were all disgusting dykes). Christopher Paolini had also transcribed the minutes of the meeting.

HEY GUYtH GUESSS WHAT? I just finished my 5th novel in the Inheritence Quadrolo- _CYCLE_! It s a sequel to Brisingr Strikes Back called Chrisingr! After me! Christopher Paolini! It goes a little like this: he then began to recite the minutes for the past few hours of debate except Scott was now a dragon, **FAGG **was Erafag and the other Fragon riders and LESBIAN were those slut atheist elf bitches Arya and Cuntface and Fireai.

Suddenly Lou Lee burst in to the trailer.

WHATCHA LL DOIN , CUNTS? With the delicacy and experience of a toddler, Louise pleasured each of the master debaters and the adjudicator. A decision was then made. To decide.

THE END FOR EVER AND EVER AND EVER!

**C U N**ext** T**ime! you fucking cunts.


	14. Chapter 14

One year later, a plot dump was taking place in the form of character dialogue. Wait, what?

'Mamma! Oh, mamma! I can't believe we have been here at this trailer park for ONE YEAR!' cried Elizabeth Bennet.

Lou Lee open her cunt to reply to her one year old daughter, but was interrupted by another baby coming out. It was asian.

'Awww shit not another azn babe! wtf?' Louise had been firing them out over the past year, at a faster rate than the entire nation of China. They had now formed a single file line and were crawling non-stop across the trailer park cum fortress. That's right. Cum fortress.

'Awwww maaa cunnntttt! OWWWWWWW!' Lou cried. She had learned to fake all sensation with her vajayjay, it was actually desensitised completely, cause she used to put peanut butter down there and get dingoes to nibble on it. The mottled remains were as numb as the entire world is numb to the suffering of nigras.

'WHAT IS HAPPENING TO MA BABIES!' Lou cried.

'Oh mamma! Mamma they are going to the feeders!'

'THE WHAT? OWWWWWWWWWW *cough* owwwwwwww. How do I get my cunt to stop coughing? GET ME SOME WATER I FUCKING LOVE WATERRRER! STOP SAYING MAMMA WITH TWO EMMS, ELIZABETH BENNET PEPSI THIS T'A'IN'T REGENCY ENGLAND! IF IT WERE I WOULDN'T BE SO PROUD OR PREJUDIZZLED AGAINST NIGRAS CAUSE THEY DON'T EXIST!'

'Oh mamma, you are so diverting.' Lou fired a baby at her new daughter and blasted her out of the way. Her other daughter, Mercedes Kiba came up.

'OH AURORA! You forgot to take the vegemite offa y'all face from when we were imitating that coooon Mercedes last night! What y'all cryin for?'

MercedesKiba had tears pouring down her face in despair at her mother's (justified) racism.

'AURORA! Your tears a'in't washin off y'all vegemite face paint. YOU MUST BE A REAL A NIGRA! You must be the 'other'! The nigra Mercedes! GET AURORA!'

Aurora heard the summons and made towards her girlfri- I mean mother.

'MAMA! I IS COMING! AND I'LL COME TO YOU RIGHT AFTER I FINISH COMING!' She slid across the floor, her female ejaculation hindering her. She was waylaid by the devious Mercedes who crept out of the shadows. Striking her beautiful sister, Mercedes peeled off her makeup and put it on her own face only to find!

AURORA WAS A NIGGER TOO! BUT SHE WAS PREGNANT? Actually it was just a giant turd, AKA a nigra child. MercedesKiba looked in shock at her ethnically inclined sister. All of the preferential treatment of the years flew across her vision: being allowed the first choice of ice-cream, ironically choosing chocolate; being allowed to stroke Lou Lee's loolee first; being the first to get impregnated by their step-father. Mercedes boiled with rage and her snake hair flew in wrath.

'BY ALL THE GODS OF VOODOO I CURSE THEE!' Composing herself, Mercedes returned to her shrieking mother. She was bathed in perspiration and lady juices. Her father was also perched above her firing come into her open vajin whilst crying:

'Feminism doesn't exist!'

Mercedes approached her mother, in disguise.

'AURORA! I CANNAE STOP HAVIN' BUBBIES! And they're all azn! WTF?'

'MAMA! I can help you if you just TRUST ME!'

'Ahh-iiiite I trust y'all!'

'OKAY MAMA!' MercedesKiba/Aurora held up a plush Jynx, from Pokemon. It's skin had been painted white to represent Lou Lee. Jynx was originally black and a slave for Santa Clause and I think she sucked cock too and was a drag queen ANYWAY!

'MAMA! Do you accept mama voodoo, the mama of all and take her into your life?'

'WTF? What is this nigra voodoo shit?'

Mercedes bristled. Like a beast. (Author's note: MercedesKiba is black.)

'MAMA! THIS CAN END! Do you accept Mama Voodoo witchdoctor medusa?'

Lou's cunt was actually starting to hurt. A sensation she was not used to. She feared it and in response she cried: 'YES! YES! OH WOW AN ORGASM!'

Mercedes took this orgasmic 'yes' as a 'yes' to her answer. With that she plunged her hand into the Jynx plushie and pulled out a toy womb. She pierced it with a pin and it exploded in a explosion of explosive red blood explosion. Next to yet, Louise Leanna cried in pain.

'MA WOMB! MA WOMB! IT IS HURTING! it's gonnnaaa blooowww!'

A tidal wave of blood flew out of her vagina. It was like a tsunami, (I dunno some Japanese shit). The flood stopped and no more babies shot forth. Some of the asian babies had been unborn in the explosion and their stem cells shot forth from the explosion. Bathed in the renewing juices of the stem cells, Louise Leanne looked around. The world had been cured of zombies. Stem cells was the cure. She looked over at Mercedes. The makeup had been washed off but now she saw that her daughter had been turned white. Stem cells was the cure for blackness too. And AIDS. And gayness. AND ALL THE WORLD'S ILLS!

She rose triumphantly.

Lou Lee woke suddenly and rose untriumphantly from the mottled bed she had been sharing with her two daughters, sister, girlfriend and father.

'Mama was you havin a nightmare?' Mercedes asked quietly.

'Not now, Old Gold Chocolate. I is found the cure for zombies.'

':O ZOMG WHAT? :D'

'STEM CELLS! It's time to harvest my foetus!'

'But mama! That is immmoral!'

'Fuck up slut. IT'S MY BODY! Besides the father was that asian delivery boy. His dick was so small it's a surprise I even got pregnant. But I is incredibly fertile after all the MSG you get in chinese takeaway. Gooks. Now GET ME A BLENDER!'

TO BE CUNTINUED!

Next time on Undead End on Main Street:

Our heroes find that stem cells AREN'T the cure for zombies but have a nice foetus burger anyway.

Lou tries to suck her dad's cock but her throat is swollen from too much brutal angry strangling sex so she can't deep throat.

A NEW SURVIVOR IS DISCOVERED!


End file.
